Lasting memories

Steffie Shields shares unique touches of history in gardens.

As temperatures tumble towards winter, border flowers fade and available daylight hours decline, the out of doors pace of life slows. Many will inevitably ponder on those loved ones who they have sadly lost over the past year.

Whatever happens, our private plots continue changing, growing, and gently reminding us – life goes on.

They motivate creative labours and reward with sensory joys and occasional surprises whatever the season. From time immemorial, whether large or small, green places have also played a significant part in helping us cope with grief. Gardens keep us grounded.

Last century’s World Wars’ devastating losses of life necessitated proposals for dedicated monuments and large-scale burial gardens. Increasing understanding of suffering and bereavement also saw the rise of both hospice and hospital gardens, enabled by benefactors and fundraisers, bringing purpose and solace to those mourning. A similar impact of the Covid pandemic has again changed many perspectives.

In designing the Sue Ryder ‘Grief Kind Garden’ for RHS Chelsea 2024, designer Katherine Holland threw light on creating a special space for grieving at home in one’s backyard. Countless thousands of gardeners have done just this, over centuries.

Treasuring loved ones
By simply planting trees or a much-loved plant, or placing a garden bench or commissioning a special sculpture, lives of grannies and granddads have been celebrated and reminders of a lost child or sibling or dearest friend treasured.

Here are three different stories where garden owners have dealt with personal loss.

Two sons and a daughter were born to Cliff and Joan Curtis, after moving in 1971 to 21 Chapel Street, a 300-year-old cottage with just over half an acre in Hacconby, a Fenland edge village. A groundsman for Lincolnshire County Council, Bourne-born Cliff enjoyed his work and developed a lifelong interest in alpines. Joan too adored unusual plants and made good use of her artistic talent for colour and planting combinations. Many will remember their much-lauded walled cottage garden, lovingly created together and generously shared with others.

Who could forget being greeted by diverse succulents beneath a striking patchwork of old, rusting enamel signs on that large shed? As Cliff expanded his historic snowdrop collection and expertise expanded, galanthophiles flocked every February to their special winter garden openings. Their daughter Sharron, equally passionate about plants, became a professional gardener and always helped support her parents’ many National Garden Scheme (NGS) charity events. “I love the architectural elements that I leave in winter, and the repeats of colour.”

After Cliff died suddenly in 2018, many people told Sharron of their “Cliff Curtis Corner” in their own gardens. Garden writer and photographer, Simon Garbutt penned this thought: ‘There could be no better memorial and it is the one he would have appreciated the most.’

Early this year, Joan too passed away. Sharron and her partner Paul Cutler, a head gardener, have solicitously maintained two gardens, hundreds of miles apart, separated by the Irish Sea! After their wedding in July, they came to the sad but practical conclusion to put 21 Chapel Street on the market. Come September, Sharron opted to open one last time for the NGS as a tribute to her parents.

This ‘Grand Finale’ stirred valued memories of numerous, enchanting meanders over the past 30 years, with a colossal amount raised for charity. The Curtises’ gentle, welcoming presence was still palpable amongst over-flowing, heartwarming borders and mellow fruitfulness. An equally admiring visitor made me laugh, probably remembering those many rare snowdrop bulbs lurking beneath the soil, proclaiming the garden as “full of expensive underwear!”

Here was one ‘last hurrah’; a joyous, inspirational celebration of the very best of cottage gardeners, with no-one coming away empty-handed. Sharron and Paul’s new home and garden will soon flourish with favourite specimens and mementoes. Joan and Cliff will live on there, as they do in mine, and many other Lincolnshire gardens and beyond.

Back in the 2011 recession, James Pask, the owner of a groundcare contracting business, decided to invest in a property, built in 1825, in Welby. During the 1970s and ’80s, his grandparents, Dr and Mrs Gordon, (St Peter’s Hill Practice, Grantham) had lived in what was formerly a pub. The Wagon and Horses closed in 1963.

The house needed restoration, with 18 months’ hard graft before moving in, but with countless happy childhood memories of visits to his grandparents, James knew what he was doing. He re-instated a long since disappeared double lavender path to the front door. But where was the old lamppost? Previously discovered buried under back garden overgrowth, in pieces and ready to be thrown out, his grandfather had had it restored and proudly placed to ornament the front garden.

James could not believe his eyes when he eventually came to have the north front of the house refaced in Ancaster goldstone. The old Victorian gas lamp suddenly re-appeared from under a dense conifer and ivy banket, once more “crying out to be rescued”. He was thrilled and determined, “If Poppa could restore it – so can I!” After shot-blasting the broken, seemingly beyond repair streetlight, James got four new panes of glass cut. He managed to rejig the head. Then all rescued bits were re-welded by ironworkers based in Swinegate, Grantham, and lastly, the lamp rewired before re-installation.

Modern lampposts don’t mean anything. This antique black and gold embossed City of Lincoln gas lamp* now lights up a smartly restored home on Main Street, complete with bright, floriferous trailing plants – a magnificent memorial to much-loved grandparents!

Planting memories
November is the perfect time to plant a tree or shrub to remember someone special who has left the planet. Choose a spot on view from a window of your house to bring year-round solace as it slowly matures. You will feel embraced with an essence of their loving presence.

Then again, like James Pask, you might prefer some unusual man-made piece to keep memories alive, thereby adding an extra layer of meaning to your garden. Their story might just engage and touch every observant onlooker.

Every day, from where I sit relaxing in our living room, I am able to spy the cherry tree, Prunus avium ‘Sunburst’, planted in my father’s memory, after he passed away in 2004, aged 89. Dad lived life to the full – a veritable “bowl of cherries” – and would often soft-shoe tapdance to the famous song to make me chuckle. He taught me more than I could ever put into words.

One day, I mentioned to Honington-based metal sculptor David Sharpe, who used to help us look after our old orchard, that this blossom tree was a tribute to my father. As a Royal Artillery Territorial Gunner participating in World War II’s Italian Campaign, Dad witnessed both Salerno (Sept 1943) and the Anzio landings (Jan 1944), 80 years ago this year.

Sometime later, arriving for work, David brought a strange, old iron-capped, arrow-headed, wooden stake. He had been gifted it by a client, a 90-year-old army veteran, as he helped clear out his shed.

David told me, “It is a gunner’s prop, used (in the desert ?) to stop the recoil of a firing anti-tank gun. I think you should have this…”

Deeply touched by this generous gesture, I have, to this day, displayed the rusty old prop prominently within our garden. When it comes to special anniversaries, VE Day and Remembrance Sunday, it stands to attention beside Dad’s cherry tree.

• Reference: National Gas Archive 1828-1948. The Lincoln Gas Light and Coke Co was formed by Act of Parliament on 9th May 1828. Its original works were located at Newland, near the River Witham. In September 1830 agreements were made with the local council to provide street lighting by converting oil lamps to gas supply.

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